An Excerpt [ && Confessions (?) ] .

This is an excerpt from the essay we are discussing about in our English subject . It is entitled "What I Have Lived For" by Bertrand Russell . The paragraph I chose is the one about love . Ahm....
Here it is :

"I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy---ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness---that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what---at last---I have found."

I have the same thoughts && views as the author . I haven`t found love yet though . Well , I thought I already found it but I realize that "Love can`t really be love until two people share it together. It`s not the instant love that is noticeable nowadays ."...

I just hope that I could fix things with him . But I really want to concentrate on my studies [ only two months left *gasp* ] . I don`t want anything else confusing me as of the moment . *but sometimes I think that being like this because of him is worth it....*

Hopefully , I would settle this before or during the summer break . It would be quite bleak if I could settle "this" during the summer because I might *take note: might* be busy . The reasons why :

• family trip to Japan [ t e n t a t i v e ! my graduation gift *part I* from my parents ]
• "extreme" sports tripping [ skim && skate . i miss doing these so much ]
• violin lessons [ once again , i`ll play . i miss this too ]
• gig/s with my band *hopefully*
• help my friend with his "business" ;]]
• DJ summer job thingy with Deannoink XD
• practice driving ! :P

So there . Do I have time for "fixing" things && taking a chance on love once more ? Hmm . If only God would allow me . Wa...

-- Macaroonie .

Ebony && Ivory Symphony :x

*linked to dA :]

I WAS BORED DURING ONE C.L.E. PERIOD *free time* XD
so I decided to take an "emo" [ accdg. to Jikko Fernandez ] picture of "my" earphones .
XD

--for Ebony ♥ :]


*the black earphones belong to my Psychologist, Lean Arcena .
the white sorta like an iPod shuffle thingy for my cellphone belongs to me ^^

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

I.M.Y . I.L.Y. ? <33

Aw . I just missed surfing through one of my favorite sites when I was still in 3rd year , which is explodingdog.com . The owner of that site is Sam . He makes digital art out of the titles that you e-mail to him . He does pretty good , kewl && funny pictures , I can say :]

Ahm , this is for him though . Hmmmmmm .

"what can i say ? ♥"

"i think you understand. . ♥"


"i don`t know what to do anymore ."

"i wonder if you miss me as much i miss you ."


"&& if you were with me tonight ,
I`d sing to you just one more time .
A song for a heart so big ,
God wouldn`t let it live ."
-- May Angels Lead You In ~ Jimmy Eat World

Woops . Are you missing someone , Jam ? Lulz .

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

song: There`s No One Like You

Ahhh ! The song that`s been playing on my mind since Saturday [ LSS ] XD . This is probably caused by playing too much Guitar Hero: Rocks the 80`s . w00t . I hella love the intro of the lead guitar here !! :]]

No One Like You ~ The Scorpions
Girl Boy, it`s been a long time that we`ve been apart
Much too long for a man girl who needs love
I miss you since I`ve been away
Babe, it wasn`t easy to leave you alone
It`s getting harder each time that I go
If I had the choice, I would stay

There`s no one like you
I can`t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we`ll do
I just wanna be loved by you [ haha ]

No one like you
I can`t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we`ll do
I just wanna be loved by you [ haha ]

Girl Boy, there are really no words strong enough
To describe all my longing for love
I don`t want my feelings restrained
Ooh, babe, I just need you like never before
Just imagine you`d come through this door
You`d take all my sorrow away

There`s no one like you
I can`t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we`ll do
I just wanna be loved by you [ haha ]

No one like you
I can`t wait for the nights with you
I imagine the things we`ll do
I just wanna be loved by you [ haha ]

No one like you ♥♥

* Leandro Victor Arcena`s my idol when it comes to Guitar Hero :P
To Lean : I hate you forever , Konsul ! haha . No one like H I M , right ? ;]]

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

song: The Promise

Wapahk ! My last blog post before school starts again *ugh* . Oh well . *This blog post`s kinda short @_@*

I just recently watched Napoleon Dynamite [ one of my favorite movies ] && heard this song . I just thought of posting it here . w00t ! :D

*I`m happy happy happy happy ♥♥x :D*
------ Err , that was random XD

The Promise ~ New Found Glory feat. Chris Carraba, vocalist of Dashboard Confessional
[ originally by When In Rome ]

I`m sorry , but I`m just thinking of the right words to say .
I know they don`t sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you wait around a while , I`ll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will...

If you need a friend,
don`t look to a stranger,
You know in the end,
I`ll always be there.

&& when you`re in doubt,
&&when you're in danger,
Take a look all around,
&& I`ll be there.

I`m sorry, but I`m just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise you)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise you)
But if you wait around a while, I`ll make you fall for me,(I promise you)
I promise, I promise you I will. [ I really will. . . ]

When your day is through,
&& so is your temper,
You know what to do,
I`m gonna always be there.

Sometimes if I shout,
it`s not what's intended.
These words just come out,
with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise you)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise you)
But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,(I promise you)
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise you)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise you)
And if I had to walk the world, to make you fall for me,(I promise you)
I promise you, I promise you I will.

I gotta tell ya, I need to tell ya, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell yaaaa ...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise you)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise you)
But if you wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,(I promise you)
I promise you, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise you)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise you)
And if I have to walk the world to make you fall for me,(I promise you)
I promise you, I promise you I will ...
I will...
I will...
I will...

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

Year - Ender .

As the year 2oo7 comes to a close , Imma review that year. .by month :) [ some of the descriptions are kinda random , so bear with it XD ]

JANUARY -- Hep ! 3rd year days. .To summarize this month in a sentence : The 31st of January caused me a "Big Apple Heartbreak" && feeling a "Never Let This Go" . [ for the people who can understand why. . @_@ ]

FEBRAURY -- Our batch experienced the first ever Junior-Senior Promenade . My promdate was Kevin Roa [ haha ] . The song "A New Tattoo" by Urbandub played that night . That memory`s still fresh in my mind :-" Thank God for Valentine`s day ! XD

MARCH -- `Twas the saddest month ever. .I made lots of new friends in the batch a year ahead of us [ the Seniors last year ] . I didn`t want them to graduate yet . At the time when I became close to them , March had to come . Errrr .
To mention a few of them :
• The 4-Borgians last year !! mga choyaxx at bugay :D
• Blue Knight people ;]]
• Seashores && Coffeecups band :)
• Some people from the Honors` Class [ mamee`s class ] XD

APRIL -- Mom was recovering from her illness at that time . So everything`s all happy happy :)

MAY -- The most unforgettable month of 2oo7 . Why ? Cuz I decided to join the C.A.T. Summer Training . [ May 7 , 2oo7 - May 27 , 2oo7 ] . Hella memorable . Lahbyoo COCC-01 ! :D

JUNE -- First month as a SENIOR . w00t w00t . Section : 4-St. Aloysius Gonzaga :)

JULY -- First month as a Unit Commander !! I miss my 3-Gonzaga cadets. .XD

AUGUST -- FIESTA ♥♥ Us C.A.T. officers performed the Silent Drill [ I`ll never forget the practices . Throwing of Rifles ! hahaha XD ] . w00t !! We also ran the Jail Booth XD

SEPTEMBER -- First batch of C.S.I.P. [ I.T. -- grades 5 && 6 ] . 4-Gonzaga`s RETREAT !!! Hella unforgettable [ Injan Injan , Room J XD ] Also , September 22 : BB`s Monthsary ^^ . Spansbab. . .EEEWWW :P

OCTOBER -- Feeling the stressure of being a Senior . wooh :-"
Lovin` my BB Family ♥ .
I hated the Sportsfest cuz of Chris Tiu :P Loved it cuz the "Tres Marias" got reunited :]]
Spansbab to Inluhb . ;]]

NOVEMBER -- Birthday month !!! :] BB made me hapee on my special day :D
Seriously crushing :-"

DECEMBER -- PARTY MONTH XD
4-Gonzaga : Sayawit Champion :D
Family bonding ♥
For short , this month`s really memorable. . . :]


To wrap up this year in a sentence : 2oo7`s one of the best years I`ve experienced so far :D Thanks to my friends , family && especially GOD :]
I`m kind of sad that this year`s going to end , but that`s life @_@

So sayonara 2oo7 , hello 2oo8 !! :]]

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

song: [ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home

What can I say ? Miggy Suarez knows all the kewl bands there are in the music world XD He made me listen to a song [ && We Will All Return To Our Roots ] by the band The Forecast . Weird enough , I didn`t become addicted to that song . This The Forecast song is what I like better than the first one I listened to . The band`s kewl , having two vocalists , a male && a female . The mixing of their voices in some of the verses sounds soothing. .So here`s the lyrics && the song :

[ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home ~ The Forecast

I`m standing in the road && I don`t mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control
but you`re driving down my road
with pockets full of secrets never said
I`ve got some things to say && I know you can relate [ should I tell you ? ]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
I`ve got some things to say and I know you can relate [ should I tell you ?]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
it`s getting late so sleep well angel
because I`ll be back tomorrow
we can stay up late && smoke it down
&& feel the breeze beneath our feet
&& chalk it up to friends with no families
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]

you`re ok , we`re ok
JUST KNOW THAT I AM NOT GIVING UP ON YOU [x4]

(I`m standing in the road && I don't mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control) [x2]

* Fudge , I`m hella tired from our family trip. .But it was enjoyable enough (:
** Thanks for telling me bowt this band , Migskie ! :P

poem: Sweet Catastrophe

A sweet sound from your perfectly shaped mouth
Becomes inspiration && slow dances
Catastrophic , ain`t it ?
Distressed , are you ?

Endings && shortcuts, you`re the only answer
For cynical minds seem to be a
Guillotine now . My
Heart && soul is gone
In your mysterious && oh-so-complex entity

Jealousy
Kills the music that we hear around us but
Logic , reason && treason do not
Matter anymore

Narrate your side of the story . For I could be your beautified
Ophelia, your sacrificial Juliet, your
Passionate && loving
Queen in the
Room of Hearts

Speak, my dear for I
To hear the notes that would leave me dancing
Under a rainbow colored umbrella, my
Visage looking for your
Wondrous, undefined &&
Xtraordinary smile

You seem far away though but my
Zeal towards you will never change . .
You will forever be my Sweet Catastrophe ♥

Daisuki des, kawairashii katasutorofu ♥♥♥x

*An alphabet poem ! XD

Exams Schmamsss part II .

I don`t want to study for Econ. . .So many topics XD Newaii . An overview of today`s exams :


FILIPINO -- errr , okay . Quite easy && that`s good news for me cuz I didn`t quite study >:) "Bakit may uwak?!?!" HAHA XD

PHYSUX , i mean PHYSICS -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH . I didn`t get to finish the Problem Solving . I also didn`t get to answer two questions in the Simple Problem Solving . Oh well . Curse you Physux ! XD

I.T. -- super okaaaaaaaaaaaay :D except I forgot bowt the MOD though . It sucks -____-"


w00t w00t . Only two more till party time :D :D :D
GO FOR THE ENGLISH TO TAGALOG TIRADA . haha .
The Way I Are [ English ] : "Baby if you strip, you can get a tip. . ."
The Way I Are [ Tagalog ] : "Baby kung ika`y huhubad , makakuha ka ng sweldo. . ."
pangeeta uy ! XD *go Reanne && Jann :P*


P.S. : What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you`d know how I feel .
[ for : hallway guy. .]

song: Teardrops on My Guitar

Toinkx . I know that this song`s quite known already && people keep on playing && playing this song . I usually don`t like these kind of songs much but I can relate to it :|

Teardrops on My Guitar ~ Taylor Swift

Drew looks at me , I fake a smile so he won`t see
That I want and I`m needing everything that we should be
I`ll bet she`s beautiful , that girl he talks about
&& she`s got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me , I laugh cause it`s so damn funny
That I can`t even see anyone when he`s with me
He says he`s so in love , he`s finally got it right ,
I wonder if he knows he`s all I think about at night

[Chorus]

He`s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He`s the song in the car I keep singing , don`t know why I do

Drew walks by me , can he tell that I can`t breathe ?
&& there he goes , so perfectly ,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She`d better hold him tight , give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she`s lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone , as I turn out the light
I`ll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He`s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who`s got enough of me to break my heart
He`s the song in the car I keep singing , don`t know why I do
He`s the time taken up , but there`s never enough
&& he`s all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me , I fake a smile so he won`t see

*cough . errrrr . i`m tired of tears*

song: All Hail the Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas

Well , I was bored at about 11.oo P.M. so I browsed my Music Library / Store [ for the people who can understand why I call it store :P ] . It must have been growing exponentially cuz I saw songs that I don`t remember DL-ing. .XD Anyway , I found this song && I like the band The Spill Canvas so I played this song && read its lyrics . I thought, "Wow." It`s like the song put my feelings into words . LOL . Shocking XD

All Hail The Heartbreaker ~ The Spill Canvas

I had the notion that you`d make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you`d open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
&& it`s just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I`ll sit && pick apart your pictures
&& over-analyze your words
But the truth is that I`ve never fallen so hard
It`s taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your indecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl guy"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you`d know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
&& it`s just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I`ll sit and pick apart your pictures
&& over-analyze your words
But the truth is that I`ve never fallen so hard
It`s taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don`t really need to anyway
What`s the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn`t want to go messing anything up

So don`t go worrying about me
It`s not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

So don`t go worrying about me
It`s not like I think about this constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I`ll let you get the best of me
Because there`s nothing else that I do well
I`ll let you get the best of me
Because there`s nothing else that I do well
I`ll be the giver && you`ll be the taker
I guess that`s how this one`s gonna go
I`ll be the giver && you`ll be the taker
You`ve got me down on my knees && I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker

Awwwwwe >.<

song: Why Wait by Rufio

Recently, I`m just posting lyrics of songs . I can`t help it , I can relate to the songs XD Anyway , this song`s kewl . By one of my all-time favorite bands , RUFIO :]

"Why Wait?"

Growing old and living for the moment
You`re searching for something you cannot find
the truth inside will reveal all that we're living for .

Thinking all is gone ? it`s gone .

Why wait for you to come home
Why search for answers to nothing
So don`t you fall back on me
or try to drag me down
&& what`s the use in wanting life to come

Growing old and getting bored of the moment
You're searching for something
you cannot find the truth is inside
and it will reveal all that we're searching for

Thinking all is gone ? it`s gone .

Why wait for you to come home
Why search for answers to nothing
So don`t you fall back on me
or try to drag me down
&&what`s the use in wanting life to come

Think back, shocking, believe it's me [x4]

Why wait for you to come home
Why search for answers to nothing
So don`t you fall back on me
or try to drag me down
&& what`s the use in wanting life to come
[x2]

P.S. : ang apas ra nako sa skwela ugma kay BAON ! XD

Where To Now ?

A Photoshopped creation of mine. .I made this out of my confusion @_@ Lol .





* This picture`s linked to my DeviantArt :D
[ the pic I uploaded in DeviantArt is a different version . Spot the difference ! XD ]

song: Brighter by Paramore

Brighter ~ Paramore

So this is how it goes
Well I, I would have never known
&& if it ends today
Well, I`ll still say that you shine brighter than anyone

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it`s not this hard?
Well it`s not this hard
But if you take what`s yours && I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

Well this is not your fault
But if I`m without you
Then I will feel so small
&& if you have to go
We`ll always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it's not this hard?
Well it`s not this hard
But if you take what's yours && I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

If you run away now,
Will you come back around?
&& if you ran away,
I`d still wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright.

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's yours and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

I'll wave goodbye (You shine bright)
Watching you shine bright (You shine bright)
I'll wave goodbye tonight (You shine bright)

Well , I`ve decided that I will not wave goodbye. . .This song`s a nice "goodbye song" though XD

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

Down , err Updates @_@

Finally !! I made a serious blog post [ or is it really ? ] . Oh well . I just want to share what are the current happenings in my so-called life XD


FAMILY FEUD. .&& THEN SOME .
It`s been proven already that in an ordinary household , conflicts can never be avoided . It`s somewhat like a protocol already @_@ Anyway. . .In the Martinez household , things are getting a bit better . But the "cold war" between my eldest bro && my dad is still raging . I don`t know what are the plans of my eldest bro right now . I think he`s gonna find a job. .For goodness sake , he`s already 24 years old && still , he hasn`t taken the board exam . Oh well -___-"

My mom && dad are getting along well though . It`s almost their silver anniversary this January . Yey ! But that means I have to dress up && stuff again . But oh well . I`d do it for them. . XD


IN SICKNESS && IN HEALTH .
I admit , there are friends of mine who are really sickly [ You know who you are >.< ] . She recently got checked up in the hospital && she recently discovered that she has a new 'disease' . She told me she wanted to die already cuz she can`t take the pain anymore. .But I told her not to let go , cuz WE`RE still here . As of now , she`s feeling better . I just realized that married couples are not the only ones who should look after each other through sickness && in health , FRIENDS SHOULD TOO (: *to that 'she': lahbyoo . keep on holding on :]*


I CAN`T BE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. . .CUZ I AM THE VAMPIRE .
Ugh . For the past month , I`ve been experiencing more && more of my stupid insomnia . I usually sleep at 1 A.M. because of it :( I don`t want to take any medication . Errrrrr . My insomnia isn`t helping me at all . On school days , I usually become sleepy during Math period . Damn . I can`t afford to sleep during that period cuz I really need to make my Math grade a little higher . Stupid , stupid , stupid insomnia X(


I`M IN A CIRCUS. .A CLOWN JUGGLER .
Well , what my college friends told me is true : Senior life is busy , tiring && difficult . Nowadays , I`ve been having difficulty in balancing my time . Originally , I don`t have good time management && that just adds to my problems . I cram more && more these days . && it sucks . Errrrr :-/


BESTFRIENDS [ PSYCHOLOGISTS ? ] MEAN FRIENDS FOREVER .
My bestfriends are truly the BEST . They`ve never left me through my times of trouble / problems , especially now . They`re open to me about their problems too . To name a few of them : RACHEL LAWAN , TZAI SAUZA , CHA SANTOS , JEMIEL ELIO , MAUI HOMEZ [ confusion buddy . haha ] , LEAN ARCENA , RENDZ TAGALOG , SHEILA SON , MARC FORTES , ELLYSE VALDEVIESO , XUGARR CANENCIA , JAMES DEQUIñA , DONICO ESTANISLAO , KARLU CARIAGA , CARINA LEYSON , ANJEL NAPALA , MAIIKX ALCANTARA , RYAN LIZARDO , KEKA DE GUZMAN , JANUS MARTINEZ , CHIE MASIGA , AYANA GUALBERTO. .I hella love them ♥xx :)

TAKING ON. . . .SEVEN YEARS ERR , ONE YEAR .
Around August / September , I`ve been having doubts on what course I would take up in College . Damn !! I had already decided last year that I would take up Accountancy . But just my luck , my heart wants to take up Com.Sci. && Law too . So what the heck .

I took this survey thingy entitled "What Should You Major In?" This was the result:

Your Scholastic Strength Is Developing Ideas

You can take a spark of inspiration and turn it into a full fledged concept. You are talented at brainstorming, visualizing, organizing, and independent thinking. You should major in: Natural sciences Computer science Creative writing Math Architecture Journalism

Now , I`m even more confused of on what I would take up . && Graduation`s about 3 months away . FUDGE >.<


SWIRLS . SWIRLS . CONFUSING .
Aaaaaah . To make a long story short , he`s confusing me . I just don`t know what to do right now . He`s giving mixed signals . I`m confuuuuuuuuused , && I hate that feeling -___-" I don`t know anymore. .



So there ! Updates in my life XD Much on problems right ? Lol . Oh well .
GTG , gotta make an article for BK pah . Till next time . Weeeeeeee :]]

--Macaroonie ♥x

To The Angel Above Me .

I made this during one boring Physics class , at the back of my Physics Notebook XD . My Physics teacher , Ms. Dosol , was explaning what elastic && inelastic collisions were all about. . Frankly , half of me was listening at that time but in the back of my mind , I was thinking :
" Do you && I collide ?" [ it rhymes ! XD ]

To the Angel Above Me:

When I look at the stars they shine of your eyes

The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.

Cause you're so above me and I cannot fly.

To the angel above me I long to be with. With.

Angel above me.

So , who`s your angel tonight ?

Cuz I could be yours .

Thanks to Ivy Lopez , for letting me borrow her orange my-gel && her blue ballpen XD

poem: Simply You .

I made this poem waaaaay back when I was in 2nd year . I surprisingly found my poem notebook && saw this certain poem . I suddenly thought that I should post it here in my blog . So here it is :

Twirl me in this delusion

Spin me in a breathless dance

Your tantalizing eyes

Hypnotize me in a glance

Charm me as you will

Voices whisper in my ear

Let the moonlight shine down on us

Your heartbeat so near

Your eyes on me

Dance with me, my dream

For I might lose you

&& my roses will not have petals

Untie me from the chain I once had

&& twirl me once more. .

Would you come closer ?

Leaving me breathless again ?..

--To Hallway guy once more--

In other news :

I was glad Ahnia Deqs [ Dequiña ] && I had an "emo talk" or a heart-to-heart in YM . I was glad I told him everything..&& I thank him for giving me respect when I was in "eMo Mode" . I knew he understood me [ just like a big bro should ] && I `m happy cuz of that . He never judged me for what I felt or what I told him [ Well , maybe he DID judge me . but I think he was just fooling around , as he always does XD ] He understood me more && vice versa . Now I know I`m not the only one dealing with "numb people" in life..... Toink .

To Ahnia Deqs , thank you so much , BAI :P

song: Sweet Maria by Chicosci ♥

Sweet Maria ~ Chicosci

Bless this night
I`m entering the fold
With everything to lose
Let me be ready for the end
With both guns blazing
Nothing can stop this war tonight
And you`ll be my shelter
Your suicide kisses will be mine

Sweet maria,
Guide these bullets in the air
Beautiful clash, I`m a blinded fool again
Now I`ll be cut and bruised
My love, will break on through my neck
My landmines valentine
These silver bullets will open your eyes
And I`ll be here, breathing
Your suicide kisses will be mine

Sweet maria,
Guide these bullets in the air three more in the chamber && I send
Sweet maria,
Grace this moment hear my prayer

I feel you beside me
Touch me, I tremble
My final dance,
This means everything,
Everything to me

These silver bullets will open your eyes
And I`ll be here, breathing
Your suicide kisses will be mine

Sweet maria,
Guide these bullets in the air three more in the chamber && I send
Sweet maria,
Grace this moment hear my prayer. .

"If only you would let me to,
I could be your sweet Maria. ."♥♥
-- Macaroonie to hallway guy.

I was searching for songs in imeem.com [as I always do] , then I found this song . I already heard this before but I just realized the impact of this song to me . I hope you guys will like it too . I know I do ;]

This.is.Not.Here :x

Dear Ignorance,

Am I simply not doing things right ? By now , I should have met the "real" him . But no .. Not even close to that . I guess I`ll just leave that up to my wildest dreams . Hey, a girl like me can still dream right ? :-/

It`s great that he && I have some form of communication with each other . But he who is uber friendly && nice suddenly became lackadaisical towards me . I just can`t understand what made him have a change of heart . How deeply && terribly ironic . -____-

Some, no actually A LOT of people ask me this question when I tell who 'he' is: "WHY HIM?" I would just laugh && say something totally out of the topic . But deep inside , I ALSO ask that to myself...

"Why him?": the question that is resounding in my mind for nearly a month now . I guess I`ve learned how to accept a person for who he is.. Not just for physical appearance but for his personality . I like him as a whole , even though I haven`t gotten into the depths of his heart && mind .

He isn`t like the other guys I`ve been with in the past . He isn`t shallow . I know he is a complex guy , && I like that . He is like a riddle or a puzzle that I want to solve... So mysterious .

But no , I`m not in love . I`ll wait for the right time to tell him all of this . I don`t think I could say all of this to him when he just looks at me but does not recognize me.... So screw irony ! [haha]

Thanks for listening && understanding . It isn`t normal for me to feel something like this... But what the hell .

Love,

Macaroonie.

To 'him' [wherever yoo are]: If you`re reading this........ Thanks..

*Time finished: 11.35 AM .

*Date: 11.08.07.

Anesthesia :]

I was sleeping very, very soundly last night.. Then a sound interrupted my peaceful rest:
*"Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name"~ ♫
My alarm just went off [6.00am] . Damn it .
Opening my heavily lidded eyes , I thought: "Wasn`t I sleeping about 4 hours ago ? Felt only like minutes ."
I groggily stood up && stifled a yawn . I looked around my room . But I didn`t absorb anything . I was still in "Hangertz mode" lol XD

Then , I grabbed my towel && some other stuff && headed towards my bathroom...
School mode once more . tsk .

When I arrived in Ateneo , I was like a zombie walking && climbing towards my classroom. . o.O
Felt like I had taken drugs or something XD
Especially when we had that Drug/Gangsterism talk. . . lol :]

Hai . I`m still in a hangover cuz of that long loooooong sembreak . Woot~
I ended "my first school day" with our Emergency Meeting. .woooh . C.A.T. tomorrow ! Type B once more XD
Someone probably gave me anesthesia when I was asleep :]
Oh well .
School mode na pud si Jami ! :P -at least I got to see hallway guy again :D-
*Quite the irony ain`t it ? I`m still hung up over the sembreak but hallway guy makes me want to go to school . lol :x Whatev , Jam o.O*


[yawyaw na pud ko ! oh yeah XD]
*That song is But It`s Better If You Do by Panic! At the Disco
Happy Birthday d.i to Alexis Nico Sorongon de Manuel :) 11.05.07 ^^