An Excerpt [ && Confessions (?) ] .

This is an excerpt from the essay we are discussing about in our English subject . It is entitled "What I Have Lived For" by Bertrand Russell . The paragraph I chose is the one about love . Ahm....
Here it is :

"I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy---ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness---that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what---at last---I have found."

I have the same thoughts && views as the author . I haven`t found love yet though . Well , I thought I already found it but I realize that "Love can`t really be love until two people share it together. It`s not the instant love that is noticeable nowadays ."...

I just hope that I could fix things with him . But I really want to concentrate on my studies [ only two months left *gasp* ] . I don`t want anything else confusing me as of the moment . *but sometimes I think that being like this because of him is worth it....*

Hopefully , I would settle this before or during the summer break . It would be quite bleak if I could settle "this" during the summer because I might *take note: might* be busy . The reasons why :

• family trip to Japan [ t e n t a t i v e ! my graduation gift *part I* from my parents ]
• "extreme" sports tripping [ skim && skate . i miss doing these so much ]
• violin lessons [ once again , i`ll play . i miss this too ]
• gig/s with my band *hopefully*
• help my friend with his "business" ;]]
• DJ summer job thingy with Deannoink XD
• practice driving ! :P

So there . Do I have time for "fixing" things && taking a chance on love once more ? Hmm . If only God would allow me . Wa...

-- Macaroonie .