Manipulation .

MANIPULATION [ va ]

Etymology:

back-formation from manipulation, from French, from manipuler to handle an apparatus in chemistry, ultimately from Latin manipulus

1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully
b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose


Ugh . You`re such a manipulative little b**** .
You only think about your damn fugly self . To tell you the truth , your friends are just being plastic to you . && to think you`re the puppet master of this show huh ? You ain`t fooling anyone .

Just letting out my anger on someone.......

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I`m hella stressed right now . My Senior life is in the brink of killing me [ lol ] . Projects , projects , projects galore ! Whappow .

BTW , goodluck to all Ateneo de Davao Senior students this Wednesday . w00t .

song of this week && next week :




" Stress suppressed in the process..
Now I`m here && it seems like the clock is ticking
I want to hide under my bed cuz I feel like I`m bleeding
My anger under my fear cuz I feel like exploding
&& the rest of me under my sleeves cuz I feel like dying
My tears are drifting from my eyes but I`m giggling
I`m now inside this bubble && everything is vibrating
I don`t know if I`d still be coming out cuz I think I like it better here lying
But I know I have to keep on living so I could come back here more often... "

*sigh* . Oh my Senior Life~

-- M I R A I .
[ stressed .. ]

song: Five Years

I was like "Woah" when I first heard this song . This is by a Pinoy band , Sugar Hiccups . [ oh yeaa XD ] . This is such a powerful song . This is quite an old song though . There are no lyrics in it [ just humming ] , except for this line : "But he will never come back." In this song , the vocalist [ a girl ] , hit the high C note !!! [ @_@ ] That`s why I was like "Woah" . I never heard any song that had this . Listen to it . It`s a really kewl , powerful && rockin` song :D [ probably a song about waiting.. awts . ]

* currently my profile song in Friendster XD

-- Macaroonie
[ picking up the BRoken pieces... ]

So You Think...

Huh . You`re not the only one . Some people even say it`s two times the hurt on my part .
Let`s talk... Please ? :(
Don`t just throw this all away...

------------
"Will I shake this off
Pretend it`s all okay
That there`s someone out there who feels just like me
There is"

-- Macaroonie
[ seriously BRoken . damn :( ]

Oh , Delirium .

Lean / Konsul`s gonna teach me how to play Killing In The Name of by Rage Against The Machine in the guitar .

My dad tells me he`s gonna buy a bass guitar with an amplifier for my brother && I .

My friends && I are going to watch a movie [ Alvin && The Chipmunks ] this Saturday .

Oh , joy .

BTW , sarcasm suits me . Riiiiight .

-- Macaroonie
[ BRokeN as everrrr ]

Hug hug hug .

Just a quick post [ Economics period *I.T. Session* ] .
I`m hating this day .
I wish I said "Hi" to you awhile ago .
But I`m sure it doesn`t mean anything to you now .
*sigh*

At least I got a hug from bestfriends whom I love .
[ There was one hug in particular that was really sweet:) ]
&& it`s Ash Wednesday .
&& I said "Hi" to my promdate [ though he didn`t say "Hi" back but he was sorry . *haha* ]
&& my classmates && I had vanity moments .
Thanks to Arvi`s cam XD


Still. .I`m angry && in a badtrip .
But most of all , depressed , confused && hurt .
Hayy .
Emo mode`s activated .
Wth .

----------
song for the day :




"&& here I rest where
Disappointment && regret collide
Lying awake at night"

-- Macaroonie

[ BRoken as ever . awts ]

song: When It Rains

The "scribble" is proof . You were true . Do you really want to end this *almost* beginning ?

When It Rains ~ Paramore
&& when it rains on this side of town
It touches everything
Just say it again && mean it
We don't miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
&& convinced yourself
that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

&& no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

&& when it rains
You always find an escape
Just running away
From all of the ones who love you
From everything
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
Of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
&& you'll sleep till May
You'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

&& no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

(Explain your side, Take my side)
Take these chances to turn it around
Take these chances we'll make it somehow
&& take these chances and turn it around
Just turn it around.

&& no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming &&
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

You can take your time, take my time

-- Macaroonie
[ BRokeN ]

Updates .

Past week.....

Tempra for you?
Ugh . I got fever AND colds last Wednesday . I had to miss one day of school . I went to school the next day , though I still wasn`t feeling 1oo% well . Up to now , I have colds . Weh .

Nanny Mode
I already have 2 "clients" . Haha . They`re pretty sweet && cute together . The only problem is a lot of people are teasing them . So it`s kinda awkward [ @_@ ] . As their nanny , I have to stop those guys . But how ? Hmmm .

Play. .So Pay !
I`ve been thinking for the past month if I should buy myself a PSP . I`m not going to buy just because a lot of people are holding PSP`s right now but because there are a lot of benefits . && oh yeah , I wanna kill my bro in Naruto Shippuuden [ XD ]

512 mB ? Oh Please .
Uh oh . The memory card of my cellphone`s almost full . I`ve already asked my dad if he could by me a new one [ a 4GB would do XD ] . He said yes but up to now , still no memory card . Errr . [ @_@ ] .

Bestfriends , For God`s Sake .
Ugh . Some people are thinking that I`m harboring feelings for some of my guy bestfriends [ Ahia or The DJ or Pedro ] . No , okay ? I`m 1oo% loyal to Mr. H.G. .

The Three Faces of Life
The "English-ed" title of the movie [ Ang Tatlong Mukha ng Buhay ] made by my fellow schoolmates && some of our teachers here in the Ateneo High School . The whole highschool watched it last Friday but it was by batch . Us Seniors were last , having the slot for the last full show . The movie was pretty nice , kewl && funny . It was about typical situations in life [ love , family && the like ] . Abelardo Macaspag III is so kawaii !!! [ XD ]

Wobbly
This is how my friend described her current relationship with her boyfriend . They`ve been together for 4 years already . I just hope they`ll be okay cuz I was the one who hooked them up in the first place *Wa* .


My Favorite LSS . Woah
My current LSS && favorite song : The King of Wishful Thinking ~ New Found Glory .

"If I don`t listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself
I`ll get over you I know I will
I`ll pretend my ship`s not sinking
&& I`ll tell myself I’m over you
Because I`m the king queen of wishful thinking
I am the king queen of wishful thinking
I`ll get over you I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won`t shed a tear for you
I`ll be the king queen of wishful thinking"

I`m Not Going To Let You Slip Out That Easily
Oh . I wish you`d just know . Why are you doing this now ? Hmmm . It`s not over yet *I hope* .

-- Macaroonie
[ BRokeN ]

Please Don`t .

Shit. I think I need a bigger towel.

I wish I could go back in time , try to tell you everything . But I guess , it`s just too late . You`re not "there" anymore . What am I to do? Are second chances one of your preferences?

I also wish I could just say "it" to you . Straight out . But how? Can we talk face to face?

Please tell me you`re not going to let go yet . Cuz I still am holding on .

------------


"Stay with me
This is what I need...
Please."
....

-- Macaroonie :(
[ BRokeN ]

songs: Kill The Drama || Make My Heart Attack

I`m listening to one of these songs right now . They`re sung by the same band [ Spitalfield ] , one of my favorite bands . My eldest brother told me about them when I was still a Freshman . I instantly liked the band cuz the songs really have nice rhythm && intro . The lyrics quite speak to me too :D

Kill The Drama ~ Spitalfield

i`d really like to see you there.
i can`t pretend like i don't care. because i really do yeah.
please just kill the drama.
go to sleep, we`ll talk tomorrow [ we don`t ]
dream about me (about me), && don`t worry
we`ll be fine (be fine).

can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i don`t know can not hurt me.
can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i don`t know can not hurt me.

i`m turning around.
i`m turning around.
i`m turning it out.
i`m taking it out.
i`m turning around.
i`m falling apart.
i`m hitting the ground.

i`m turning around.
i`m turning around.
i`m turning it out.
i`m taking it out.
i`m turning around.
i`m falling apart.
i`m hitting you down.

you said that we were leaving, i asked "where we were going."
do you really (really)?
i just really do want everything to work out
like the motion picture endings.
what i really (really)..
what i really meant to say..to say

can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i don`t know can not hurt me.
can you hear me?
can you see me?
what i don`t know can not hurt me.

i`m turning around.
i`m turning around.
i`m turning it out.
i`m taking it out.
i`m turning around.
i`m falling apart.
i`m hitting the ground.

i`m turning around.
i`m turning around.
i`m turning it out.
i`m taking it out.
i`m turning around.
i`m falling apart.
i`m hitting the ground.

what i don`t know cannot hurt me. [2x]

can you see me?
what i don't know can not hurt me.
(please just kill the drama.
go to sleep, we`ll talk tomorrow.
dream about me, && don't worry
we`ll be fine.)

Make My Heart Attack ~ Spitalfield

I work backwards from nowhere don`t opposites attract?
I`ve got no friends and blank stares that could make my heart attack
&& I miss you don`t you miss me?

I don`t know just where to start it`s like,
when I`m without you things just fall apart && I will know

&& I know that you know I`ll be back I`ll be home
I`m tired of telling you something that you already know [ I know you know ]
&& I know that you know I`ll be back I`ll be home
I`m tired of telling you something that you already know

&& we`ll make it through
this if I had just one wish if my dreams all come true
then your dreams will too

&& I miss you && don't you miss me?
I don`t know just where to start it's like,
when I’m without you things just fall apart && I will know

And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
I’m tired of telling you something that you already know
And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
I’m tired of telling you something that you already know

Somewhere out there

And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
I’m tired of telling you something that you already know
And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
I’m tired of telling you something that you already know

And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
And I know that you know I’ll be back I’ll be home
I’m tired of telling you something

I`m terribly missing someone right now. .Damn .

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

song: [ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home

What can I say ? Miggy Suarez knows all the kewl bands there are in the music world XD He made me listen to a song [ && We Will All Return To Our Roots ] by the band The Forecast . Weird enough , I didn`t become addicted to that song . This The Forecast song is what I like better than the first one I listened to . The band`s kewl , having two vocalists , a male && a female . The mixing of their voices in some of the verses sounds soothing. .So here`s the lyrics && the song :

[ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home ~ The Forecast

I`m standing in the road && I don`t mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control
but you`re driving down my road
with pockets full of secrets never said
I`ve got some things to say && I know you can relate [ should I tell you ? ]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
I`ve got some things to say and I know you can relate [ should I tell you ?]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
it`s getting late so sleep well angel
because I`ll be back tomorrow
we can stay up late && smoke it down
&& feel the breeze beneath our feet
&& chalk it up to friends with no families
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]

you`re ok , we`re ok
JUST KNOW THAT I AM NOT GIVING UP ON YOU [x4]

(I`m standing in the road && I don't mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control) [x2]

* Fudge , I`m hella tired from our family trip. .But it was enjoyable enough (:
** Thanks for telling me bowt this band , Migskie ! :P

An Update of My Wishlist .

Haha . I`ve suddenly thought of stuff I should have added a loooooong time ago to my previous wishlist . Took out the RF Load though XD :

ADDED STUFFS :
• X1650XT IceQ Turbo Dual Video Card (256MB or higher, PCI Express x16, Dual DVI)
-- damn i REALLY NEED A NEW VIDEO CARD . My current one`s okay but I want a better one. .XD
• Younha CD [ Go Younha! ]
• Vanessa Mae CD [ The Best of Vanessa Mae ]
• Spitalfield CD [ Remember Right Now ]
• Rufio CD [ Perhaps , I Suppose ]
• Saosin CD [ Translating The Name (EP) ]
* I ain`t much of a music fan eh ? XD*
• "Beside the River Piedra , I Sat Down && Wept" by Paul Coelho
• "Veronika Decides to Die" by Paul Coelho
• new && original 5700 earphones XD
• a Spongebob / Fairly Oddparents jacket :P
• a new mousepad [ preferably Deathnote ] *my current one`s Mickey Mouse . damn it @_@*
• Deathnote notebook [ the ACTUAL one ] XD
• a PS3 or a PSP :))
• a CREATIVE ZEN VISION or a CREATIVE ZEN V PLUS
• band shirts !! [ Saosin , Typecast or Rufio ]
• a figurine of Lenneth Valkyrie or Alicia [ from Valkyrie Profile ]
*Nibelung Valesti !! XD*

new TC [ total cost ] : about Php 92, 250 XD

Haha . A girl like me can dream of having all of those stuff for Xmas XD

*12.14.o7* --- this days sucks . errrr . full of "badtrips" @_@

Down , err Updates @_@

Finally !! I made a serious blog post [ or is it really ? ] . Oh well . I just want to share what are the current happenings in my so-called life XD


FAMILY FEUD. .&& THEN SOME .
It`s been proven already that in an ordinary household , conflicts can never be avoided . It`s somewhat like a protocol already @_@ Anyway. . .In the Martinez household , things are getting a bit better . But the "cold war" between my eldest bro && my dad is still raging . I don`t know what are the plans of my eldest bro right now . I think he`s gonna find a job. .For goodness sake , he`s already 24 years old && still , he hasn`t taken the board exam . Oh well -___-"

My mom && dad are getting along well though . It`s almost their silver anniversary this January . Yey ! But that means I have to dress up && stuff again . But oh well . I`d do it for them. . XD


IN SICKNESS && IN HEALTH .
I admit , there are friends of mine who are really sickly [ You know who you are >.< ] . She recently got checked up in the hospital && she recently discovered that she has a new 'disease' . She told me she wanted to die already cuz she can`t take the pain anymore. .But I told her not to let go , cuz WE`RE still here . As of now , she`s feeling better . I just realized that married couples are not the only ones who should look after each other through sickness && in health , FRIENDS SHOULD TOO (: *to that 'she': lahbyoo . keep on holding on :]*


I CAN`T BE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. . .CUZ I AM THE VAMPIRE .
Ugh . For the past month , I`ve been experiencing more && more of my stupid insomnia . I usually sleep at 1 A.M. because of it :( I don`t want to take any medication . Errrrrr . My insomnia isn`t helping me at all . On school days , I usually become sleepy during Math period . Damn . I can`t afford to sleep during that period cuz I really need to make my Math grade a little higher . Stupid , stupid , stupid insomnia X(


I`M IN A CIRCUS. .A CLOWN JUGGLER .
Well , what my college friends told me is true : Senior life is busy , tiring && difficult . Nowadays , I`ve been having difficulty in balancing my time . Originally , I don`t have good time management && that just adds to my problems . I cram more && more these days . && it sucks . Errrrr :-/


BESTFRIENDS [ PSYCHOLOGISTS ? ] MEAN FRIENDS FOREVER .
My bestfriends are truly the BEST . They`ve never left me through my times of trouble / problems , especially now . They`re open to me about their problems too . To name a few of them : RACHEL LAWAN , TZAI SAUZA , CHA SANTOS , JEMIEL ELIO , MAUI HOMEZ [ confusion buddy . haha ] , LEAN ARCENA , RENDZ TAGALOG , SHEILA SON , MARC FORTES , ELLYSE VALDEVIESO , XUGARR CANENCIA , JAMES DEQUIñA , DONICO ESTANISLAO , KARLU CARIAGA , CARINA LEYSON , ANJEL NAPALA , MAIIKX ALCANTARA , RYAN LIZARDO , KEKA DE GUZMAN , JANUS MARTINEZ , CHIE MASIGA , AYANA GUALBERTO. .I hella love them ♥xx :)

TAKING ON. . . .SEVEN YEARS ERR , ONE YEAR .
Around August / September , I`ve been having doubts on what course I would take up in College . Damn !! I had already decided last year that I would take up Accountancy . But just my luck , my heart wants to take up Com.Sci. && Law too . So what the heck .

I took this survey thingy entitled "What Should You Major In?" This was the result:

Your Scholastic Strength Is Developing Ideas

You can take a spark of inspiration and turn it into a full fledged concept. You are talented at brainstorming, visualizing, organizing, and independent thinking. You should major in: Natural sciences Computer science Creative writing Math Architecture Journalism

Now , I`m even more confused of on what I would take up . && Graduation`s about 3 months away . FUDGE >.<


SWIRLS . SWIRLS . CONFUSING .
Aaaaaah . To make a long story short , he`s confusing me . I just don`t know what to do right now . He`s giving mixed signals . I`m confuuuuuuuuused , && I hate that feeling -___-" I don`t know anymore. .



So there ! Updates in my life XD Much on problems right ? Lol . Oh well .
GTG , gotta make an article for BK pah . Till next time . Weeeeeeee :]]

--Macaroonie ♥x

Care To Try ? :P

Err , I made two friendtests during the sembreak && thought that I would post it here . Care to try them ? :P

N.B. The part two is way more difficult . haha XD

Part One:

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/1161404


Part Two:
http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/1162172

12.o6.o7:
Oh fudge . I hate this day @_@

Ms. DOUBTfire -____-"

I was busy going over && over the 8th paragraph of the essay, Man`s Search For Meaning, from our English IV book , moments after our class finished checking our quizzes in Math . We were tasked to memorize one paragraph from that essay && we would recite it in front of our class . My seatmate , Rendell Tagalog , was quite jittery && nervous because he was the prayer leader AND he would be the first one to recite his speech . [ haha XD ]

Through all the hurried memorizations && repetitive speeches of my classmates && I , none of us got to recite our speeches [ except for those who already had recited ] . Instead , our English teacher [ Mrs. Alaba ] , gave us a task that was similar to what us 4th year students passed to the Shield . We had to make a Haiku describing ourselves && make an article about our Highschool life :)

To be frank , I was quite confident in the thought of making Haikus . Besides , they are only 5-7-5 . When I had my ballpen && paper all ready , that`s the time I realized I couldn`t easily make one . A Haiku is too short for me to describe myself . Only a total of 17 syllables is allowed . && so , I took much of my time thinking of what to put in my Haiku . I was beginning to doubt myself at that time . Hmmm...

I also got "nonsensical" during that time . I mean I thought of stupid Haikus . I guess it was because of the fact that Marc Fortes && Jikko Fernandez were sitting behind me && kept on telling kornii jokes && making stupid Haikus too XD .

After much thinking , I finally made a Haiku ! I made two actually :

"The sunset is clear

I am pretending again

But my friends are here"

and

"I am here standing

With love as my anti-drug

&& smiles as my masks"

Awwwe . So much for doubting myself ;]

The only problem now is my article . Uh oh XD

poem: Simply You .

I made this poem waaaaay back when I was in 2nd year . I surprisingly found my poem notebook && saw this certain poem . I suddenly thought that I should post it here in my blog . So here it is :

Twirl me in this delusion

Spin me in a breathless dance

Your tantalizing eyes

Hypnotize me in a glance

Charm me as you will

Voices whisper in my ear

Let the moonlight shine down on us

Your heartbeat so near

Your eyes on me

Dance with me, my dream

For I might lose you

&& my roses will not have petals

Untie me from the chain I once had

&& twirl me once more. .

Would you come closer ?

Leaving me breathless again ?..

--To Hallway guy once more--

In other news :

I was glad Ahnia Deqs [ Dequiña ] && I had an "emo talk" or a heart-to-heart in YM . I was glad I told him everything..&& I thank him for giving me respect when I was in "eMo Mode" . I knew he understood me [ just like a big bro should ] && I `m happy cuz of that . He never judged me for what I felt or what I told him [ Well , maybe he DID judge me . but I think he was just fooling around , as he always does XD ] He understood me more && vice versa . Now I know I`m not the only one dealing with "numb people" in life..... Toink .

To Ahnia Deqs , thank you so much , BAI :P

In Sanity :P

I AM IN SANITY .

This is what my friend, Maiikx, always tells me . I am SANE , at last . lol :D
Although I had quite a weird dream last night o.O:

I was assigned to spy on the Military Police during C.A.T. time . I wrote my observations on some notepad . Then it was time for the M.P.`s to form . I gave my critics && I was hella mad at them [I dunno why] . I even recited the 11 General Orders to them at that time ! [Waw , I still can remember all of them. . in my sleep XD] && then I gave some M.P. 20 push-ups or something like that. .Then I don`t remember anything else XD

Haha . Weird , ain`t it ? I dunno why I dreamt of something like that. .
but oh yes ,

I AM STILL IN SANITY .

Hmm , my feet my tired from wearing my combat shoes nearly the whole day . Ma`am Canencia && I [after the C.A.T. meeting] were wearing our black officer`s shirt , pants && then our combat shoes . We were like equestrians looking for our horses in the Ateneo building . lol XD

BUT STILL , I AM IN SANITY .

haha . just go figure :D

Anesthesia :]

I was sleeping very, very soundly last night.. Then a sound interrupted my peaceful rest:
*"Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name"~ ♫
My alarm just went off [6.00am] . Damn it .
Opening my heavily lidded eyes , I thought: "Wasn`t I sleeping about 4 hours ago ? Felt only like minutes ."
I groggily stood up && stifled a yawn . I looked around my room . But I didn`t absorb anything . I was still in "Hangertz mode" lol XD

Then , I grabbed my towel && some other stuff && headed towards my bathroom...
School mode once more . tsk .

When I arrived in Ateneo , I was like a zombie walking && climbing towards my classroom. . o.O
Felt like I had taken drugs or something XD
Especially when we had that Drug/Gangsterism talk. . . lol :]

Hai . I`m still in a hangover cuz of that long loooooong sembreak . Woot~
I ended "my first school day" with our Emergency Meeting. .woooh . C.A.T. tomorrow ! Type B once more XD
Someone probably gave me anesthesia when I was asleep :]
Oh well .
School mode na pud si Jami ! :P -at least I got to see hallway guy again :D-
*Quite the irony ain`t it ? I`m still hung up over the sembreak but hallway guy makes me want to go to school . lol :x Whatev , Jam o.O*


[yawyaw na pud ko ! oh yeah XD]
*That song is But It`s Better If You Do by Panic! At the Disco
Happy Birthday d.i to Alexis Nico Sorongon de Manuel :) 11.05.07 ^^