song: Five Years

I was like "Woah" when I first heard this song . This is by a Pinoy band , Sugar Hiccups . [ oh yeaa XD ] . This is such a powerful song . This is quite an old song though . There are no lyrics in it [ just humming ] , except for this line : "But he will never come back." In this song , the vocalist [ a girl ] , hit the high C note !!! [ @_@ ] That`s why I was like "Woah" . I never heard any song that had this . Listen to it . It`s a really kewl , powerful && rockin` song :D [ probably a song about waiting.. awts . ]

* currently my profile song in Friendster XD

-- Macaroonie
[ picking up the BRoken pieces... ]

Hug hug hug .

Just a quick post [ Economics period *I.T. Session* ] .
I`m hating this day .
I wish I said "Hi" to you awhile ago .
But I`m sure it doesn`t mean anything to you now .
*sigh*

At least I got a hug from bestfriends whom I love .
[ There was one hug in particular that was really sweet:) ]
&& it`s Ash Wednesday .
&& I said "Hi" to my promdate [ though he didn`t say "Hi" back but he was sorry . *haha* ]
&& my classmates && I had vanity moments .
Thanks to Arvi`s cam XD


Still. .I`m angry && in a badtrip .
But most of all , depressed , confused && hurt .
Hayy .
Emo mode`s activated .
Wth .

----------
song for the day :




"&& here I rest where
Disappointment && regret collide
Lying awake at night"

-- Macaroonie

[ BRoken as ever . awts ]

An Excerpt [ && Confessions (?) ] .

This is an excerpt from the essay we are discussing about in our English subject . It is entitled "What I Have Lived For" by Bertrand Russell . The paragraph I chose is the one about love . Ahm....
Here it is :

"I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy---ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness---that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what---at last---I have found."

I have the same thoughts && views as the author . I haven`t found love yet though . Well , I thought I already found it but I realize that "Love can`t really be love until two people share it together. It`s not the instant love that is noticeable nowadays ."...

I just hope that I could fix things with him . But I really want to concentrate on my studies [ only two months left *gasp* ] . I don`t want anything else confusing me as of the moment . *but sometimes I think that being like this because of him is worth it....*

Hopefully , I would settle this before or during the summer break . It would be quite bleak if I could settle "this" during the summer because I might *take note: might* be busy . The reasons why :

• family trip to Japan [ t e n t a t i v e ! my graduation gift *part I* from my parents ]
• "extreme" sports tripping [ skim && skate . i miss doing these so much ]
• violin lessons [ once again , i`ll play . i miss this too ]
• gig/s with my band *hopefully*
• help my friend with his "business" ;]]
• DJ summer job thingy with Deannoink XD
• practice driving ! :P

So there . Do I have time for "fixing" things && taking a chance on love once more ? Hmm . If only God would allow me . Wa...

-- Macaroonie .

Roller Coasters. . && Mystery Girl .

Awts . I`m tired of "roller coasters" . && no , it`s not the junkfood .

This roller coaster I`m on has "up" moments . It leaves me in a sense of light-weightiness && plasters a big smile on my face . But not for long `cuz as roller coasters go , there`s also the "down" part . That makes me want to regurgitate && also makes me want to get off the damn thing .

Problem is , I can`t get off that "roller coaster" , even though the ride`s dizzying , sickening but enjoyable at the same time [ ironic ] . There`s nothing to do , I`m so into this "roller coaster" .

As for Mystery Girl , I haven`t a clue to who she is . So I`m feeling screwed && confused :-/

*wah , gets ni Kuya Rendz [ seatmate forever ] && Lean [ ex-convict na Inchik ] ung roller coaster na part . .

-- Macaroonie .

Technology Vs. Reality [ An "Emo" Conversation ]

I had a somewhat deep and unexpected conversation with "someone" . Let`s nickname that someone as "Mr. R".. I`ll first tell how my morning began, then up to the conversation.... *scene fades, flashback thingy* [ lulz ]

My morning started out as any normal school day would go , considering I only had an hour of sleep [ Damn IT Project ] . That`s why I woke up kinda late , then my mom left me [ She wanted to hear mass at the Chapel ] . So my dad was the one who drove me to school . To summarize events , my morning didn`t quite start right. . . @_@

So I arrived at school with no intention of enjoying the day . Adding to what I feel , I missed the old guards of Ateneo whom I`ve been friends with since I was an elementary student . . I miss the guard who`d always tell my bro : "Martinez ! Zipper nimo, open!!" lulz . But haii. . .

Anyway ! When I arrived at my classroom , I just dropped my bag hard on my chair , sat down && dropped my head on the armrest. .Yeah , you can say I was in a "badtrip" . Let`s just fast forward to that conversation :

* setting : 2nd Period [ C.L.E. ] . Sir Jack Lovino = teacher . He`s lecturing but I`m not listening . LOL .
Me : Gehd . Isang oras lang gud ang tulog ko . 4 A.M. na ako naka.tulog. .tas 5 A.M. naka.gising T__T
Mr. R : Wah ! Atik Jam ? Bakit ?
Me : Dahil dun sa I.T. Project . Samok masyado . Tas parang naka.iyak pa talaga ako mga 2.3o ng umaga dahil sa proj kay naga.save ako ng forms , then bigla nag.pop up ung "Visual Basic 6.0 needs to close...." na window . Tapos 1/2 of the forms pa lang talaga ang na.save ko . So parang naulit ang lahat. . .
*someone interrupts while I was talking , saying "Sorry" to me [ haha LEAN ;) ] *
Mr. R : Awwww . Ok lang yan Jam. .
Me : Huy , may i.share pa pala ako ! May na.dream gud ako dun sa isang oras ko na tulog. .Weird gud un .
Mr. R : Anu nangyari sa dream mo , Jam ?
*take note ha , DREAM LANG ANG SINABI KO KAY MR. R*
Me : Kasi ganito daw un , galing ako Gate 8 . tas papunta ako Gate 1. .then nakita ko "siya" pati si ___ && ____ . Naga.usap daw sila sa isa`t isa . Then pumunta ako banda sa kanila . Tas nag.ask man "siya" na : "Saan ka punta Jam?" . Tas sabi ko na : "Punta ako sa isang kompyuteran.." Tas nag.gnian "siya" na : "Sabay na lang tayo!" Tas nag.bye2 kami kay ___ && ___ . Then sabay kami...
Tas grabe raw sharing namin . Karami daw naming same interests && stuff. . .
Tas bigla man yan "siya" nag.sabe na : "Jam! McDo muna tayo!" , gnian ako na : "Okay . Babuya nimo uy!!" .
Then nasa McDo na kami , eating && all. .Then nag.open up "siya" bigla . Nag.share2 siya about sa problems niya ..
Tas nag.gnian "siya" bigla na : "Jam, you really wanna know what`s bothering me right now?" . Then nag.sabi ako na : "Hmm, ok lang . Sige go." Then he said :

"There`s this girl whom I really like . As in REALLY like . && I don`t know how to tell her . && feeling ko pa nga , may iba siyang gusto.. Friends kami pero sadly , di masyado naga.pansinan sa school...I really want to tell her Jam . Para matapos na ang lahat at para na rin malaman ko kung anu feelings niya.."

Tas sabi ko raw na :

"First of all , don`t ever think na may gustong iba ang crush mo . Madali ka kasi mawalan ng pag-asa kung ganun . Don`t worry . In time , you`ll find strength to tell her what you feel ."

Then he said :

"Thanks for the advice Jam . But I`m already telling my feelings to her right now. . . ."

*gasp* Weird noh ?? @_@

Mr. R : What ? Un talaga ang dream mo Jam ? Sign gud yan. .Hehe . Pero I believe na baliktad niyan ang mangyayari .
Me : Kaya gani . It sucks. . . .
Me : Masakit gud ang situation ko ngayon . Hanggang ganun lang kami.. When we are here in the four corners of the school , it`s as if wala kaming "friendship" or what .
Mr. R : Bitaw Jam . Hanggang sa "technology" lang kayo . Pero pag.reality na , wala na. . .
Me : *sad face* Masakit gud talaga. .Pero I won`t give up gud .
Mr. R : Baliktad ata situation niyo ah ?! Parang ikaw ang lalake. .
Me : Bitaw2 ! Weird talaga uy .
*Mr. R shares something about his love life , which I can`t put here*


To that Mr. R : Thankyou thankyou thankyou for listening to me :]

-- Macaroonie .

Oh , The Truth .

I found this pic in Wilene Morales` friendster profile . Hope she doesn`t mind that I "stole" this pic XD

Anyway , I feel that this is true for me . He`s giving mixed signals . I just wish I could tear his heart apart at the seams , maybe then he would know how I feel. . [ Err , emo much ? @_@ ]

Well , who`s 'boy' you ask ? It`s for me to know && for you to find out~

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x
[ HB ? ]

song: [ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home

What can I say ? Miggy Suarez knows all the kewl bands there are in the music world XD He made me listen to a song [ && We Will All Return To Our Roots ] by the band The Forecast . Weird enough , I didn`t become addicted to that song . This The Forecast song is what I like better than the first one I listened to . The band`s kewl , having two vocalists , a male && a female . The mixing of their voices in some of the verses sounds soothing. .So here`s the lyrics && the song :

[ May You One Day ] Carry Me Home ~ The Forecast

I`m standing in the road && I don`t mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control
but you`re driving down my road
with pockets full of secrets never said
I`ve got some things to say && I know you can relate [ should I tell you ? ]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
I`ve got some things to say and I know you can relate [ should I tell you ?]
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
it`s getting late so sleep well angel
because I`ll be back tomorrow
we can stay up late && smoke it down
&& feel the breeze beneath our feet
&& chalk it up to friends with no families
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
we`re on our, we`re on our own
kiss && tell I never tell
but I`d love to hear these words roll out your mouth
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]
run away with me, run away with me tonight [ I just wish we could. . ]

you`re ok , we`re ok
JUST KNOW THAT I AM NOT GIVING UP ON YOU [x4]

(I`m standing in the road && I don't mind your headlights
you say I`ve lost control) [x2]

* Fudge , I`m hella tired from our family trip. .But it was enjoyable enough (:
** Thanks for telling me bowt this band , Migskie ! :P

song: So Far Away

I remember my seatmate forever / psychologist [ Kuya Rendz ] whenever I hear this song . He would keep on singing it && I would have LSS because of him [ haha ] . This song makes me relax && sad at the same time [ FTW ?! @_@ ] . && yeah , I can relate to it again. . :|

So Far Away ~ Bamboo

So far away
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn’t help to know that you’re just time away
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
How I wish I could, but you’re so far away

One more song about movin’ along the highway
Can’t say much of anything that’s new
If I could only work this life out my way
I’d rather spend it bein’ close to you

But you’re so far away
You’re so far away

Travelin’ around sure gets me down and lonely
Nothin’ else to do but close my mind
I sure hope the road don’t come to own me
But there’s so many dreams I’ve yet to find

But you’re so far away
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn’t help to know, it doesn’t help to know
It doesn’t help to know

You’re so far away

Skyline .

Uhh . I got bored in my room since I waiting for my video DL`s from Veoh to finish . So I just played around with brushes in PS CS3 . && this came out . w00t XD



*click it && you`ll go to my dA .

"Weirdly inspired because of you .
I wish you knew 'he' is YOU .
So I just faked another smile && looked at you
Knowing I`ll never have you ."

Oh fudge~

song: Teardrops on My Guitar

Toinkx . I know that this song`s quite known already && people keep on playing && playing this song . I usually don`t like these kind of songs much but I can relate to it :|

Teardrops on My Guitar ~ Taylor Swift

Drew looks at me , I fake a smile so he won`t see
That I want and I`m needing everything that we should be
I`ll bet she`s beautiful , that girl he talks about
&& she`s got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me , I laugh cause it`s so damn funny
That I can`t even see anyone when he`s with me
He says he`s so in love , he`s finally got it right ,
I wonder if he knows he`s all I think about at night

[Chorus]

He`s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He`s the song in the car I keep singing , don`t know why I do

Drew walks by me , can he tell that I can`t breathe ?
&& there he goes , so perfectly ,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She`d better hold him tight , give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she`s lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone , as I turn out the light
I`ll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He`s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who`s got enough of me to break my heart
He`s the song in the car I keep singing , don`t know why I do
He`s the time taken up , but there`s never enough
&& he`s all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me , I fake a smile so he won`t see

*cough . errrrr . i`m tired of tears*

song: Brighter by Paramore

Brighter ~ Paramore

So this is how it goes
Well I, I would have never known
&& if it ends today
Well, I`ll still say that you shine brighter than anyone

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it`s not this hard?
Well it`s not this hard
But if you take what`s yours && I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

Well this is not your fault
But if I`m without you
Then I will feel so small
&& if you have to go
We`ll always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it's not this hard?
Well it`s not this hard
But if you take what's yours && I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

If you run away now,
Will you come back around?
&& if you ran away,
I`d still wave goodbye
Watching you shine bright.

Now I think we`re taking this too far
Don`t you know that it's not this hard?
Well it's not this hard
But if you take what's yours and I take mine
Must we go there?
Please not this time. No, not this time.

I'll wave goodbye (You shine bright)
Watching you shine bright (You shine bright)
I'll wave goodbye tonight (You shine bright)

Well , I`ve decided that I will not wave goodbye. . .This song`s a nice "goodbye song" though XD

-- Macaroonie ♥♥x

song : Prophecies in Kodak by Mozart Season

I`ve no time to make a "serious" blogpost . But reaaaaaaaaaaaaal soon , I will :]
Anyway , I`m currently "addicted" to this song . Listen to it !!! It`s a kewl song . I ♥♥x the RIFTING of the lead gee-tar in this song XD
BTW , for the people who can`t stand screamo/metal/pure rock songs , it`s best if you don`t listen . Lol :))

Prophecies in Kodak ~ Mozart Season

With those words that I said that I never meant to say
why cant we put all these tears to bed
tonights the night where everything will
fall around you

This house enchanted, velvet carpet sprees
(your certainty gets the best of me)
(but by God it brings out the worst in me)
Your lonely hand did all to toss the key
(its a sin to let your words carress me)
(so count your blessings, its already done)
Isn't this the PICTURE PERFECT MOMENT??
Bottle up my tears in a SNAPSHOT MOTION??
Every window is a different story
Shut it then it moves on it like never happened

CHORUS:
(and you cut through my heart)
Can't feel the ink on my skin
(And you scratch out my eyes)
Can't fight the tar in my lungs
(this is the last knife youll ever put)
Can't taste the sugar from the salt on my bones
(into my back)

In a single picture frame, you and I explain
The safety involved in open doors
So record our memories with windshields kissing trees
And know that tonight was worth dying for

Thanks for second guessing. Pin this rose on me
(My only friends in this world are strangers)
(They dont know me well enough to put my heart in danger)
Forever is a promise that you could not keep
(Thanks for spreading me a different story)
(A parliament puff covers all of my lies)
I'll burn the letters while you burn our bridges
Sink the ship after you lock me in
So do your best to point the trigger finger
At all my bullet holes and safety pins

Repeat CHORUS

Shaking all night I'm
Shaking all night I
Hope you saw the light

You spend years walking down these aisles
Empty pews never meant so much to you
And I'd like it if you took your time
And I'd like it if you took your chance now
To reach your hand out
I'll reach my hand out
They'll brush in time for you to realize
That empty words can bring all that the world can sing
So I hope that its all there, waiting for me

CALL ME SOMETHING CALL ME CURIOUS
JUST SO I KNOW YOU'RE FINE
JUST SO I KNOW I SPOKE IN TIME


(my dream came true with ice on all your roads)
(shhhhh)

EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED
YOU GOT I WITHOUT EVEN TRYING
SO LETS JUST PLAY PRETEND
AND YOULL HAVE TO TRY TO MAKE THIS WORK

You know me better than to point the trigger finger
At all my bullet holes and safety pins
You know better than to point your finger at me

song/picture : The Ballad Of by Hale

I was just bored , that`s why I made this . A little too plain , don`t you think ? Hmmmmm . BTW , this is a nice song for me . A theme song for my life or something. .@_@