An Excerpt [ && Confessions (?) ] .

This is an excerpt from the essay we are discussing about in our English subject . It is entitled "What I Have Lived For" by Bertrand Russell . The paragraph I chose is the one about love . Ahm....
Here it is :

"I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy---ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness---that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what---at last---I have found."

I have the same thoughts && views as the author . I haven`t found love yet though . Well , I thought I already found it but I realize that "Love can`t really be love until two people share it together. It`s not the instant love that is noticeable nowadays ."...

I just hope that I could fix things with him . But I really want to concentrate on my studies [ only two months left *gasp* ] . I don`t want anything else confusing me as of the moment . *but sometimes I think that being like this because of him is worth it....*

Hopefully , I would settle this before or during the summer break . It would be quite bleak if I could settle "this" during the summer because I might *take note: might* be busy . The reasons why :

• family trip to Japan [ t e n t a t i v e ! my graduation gift *part I* from my parents ]
• "extreme" sports tripping [ skim && skate . i miss doing these so much ]
• violin lessons [ once again , i`ll play . i miss this too ]
• gig/s with my band *hopefully*
• help my friend with his "business" ;]]
• DJ summer job thingy with Deannoink XD
• practice driving ! :P

So there . Do I have time for "fixing" things && taking a chance on love once more ? Hmm . If only God would allow me . Wa...

-- Macaroonie .

Brochure !!!!!! *English thingy* XD

Hmpf . I made my English assignment sooooooo damn early !! I wasn`t kinda listening when Mrs. Alaba told us of that assignment cuz I really have a problem in focusing in class . Damn it . && so !!! I thought that the deadline of the brochure was TODAY , when actually the real deadline`s tomorrow . && then it was announced awhile ago in our English period that the real deadline would be on THURSDAY . Despite the fact that I crammed [ I made this from 8.3o P.M. ~ 11.45 PM , I think XD ] , I enjoyed designing it ^^, Well , here`s the brochure thingy I made XD:

*L-R: back && front [ cover ]



*L-R: inside [ left side ] && inside [ right side ]

Lalalalalala~ XD

Ms. DOUBTfire -____-"

I was busy going over && over the 8th paragraph of the essay, Man`s Search For Meaning, from our English IV book , moments after our class finished checking our quizzes in Math . We were tasked to memorize one paragraph from that essay && we would recite it in front of our class . My seatmate , Rendell Tagalog , was quite jittery && nervous because he was the prayer leader AND he would be the first one to recite his speech . [ haha XD ]

Through all the hurried memorizations && repetitive speeches of my classmates && I , none of us got to recite our speeches [ except for those who already had recited ] . Instead , our English teacher [ Mrs. Alaba ] , gave us a task that was similar to what us 4th year students passed to the Shield . We had to make a Haiku describing ourselves && make an article about our Highschool life :)

To be frank , I was quite confident in the thought of making Haikus . Besides , they are only 5-7-5 . When I had my ballpen && paper all ready , that`s the time I realized I couldn`t easily make one . A Haiku is too short for me to describe myself . Only a total of 17 syllables is allowed . && so , I took much of my time thinking of what to put in my Haiku . I was beginning to doubt myself at that time . Hmmm...

I also got "nonsensical" during that time . I mean I thought of stupid Haikus . I guess it was because of the fact that Marc Fortes && Jikko Fernandez were sitting behind me && kept on telling kornii jokes && making stupid Haikus too XD .

After much thinking , I finally made a Haiku ! I made two actually :

"The sunset is clear

I am pretending again

But my friends are here"

and

"I am here standing

With love as my anti-drug

&& smiles as my masks"

Awwwe . So much for doubting myself ;]

The only problem now is my article . Uh oh XD